The summer between freshman year and sophomore year Luke and I hadn't been dating for very long but luckily we were friends beforehand. I wont lie, being early on in our relationship made it rough to be apart for the summer. We talked a lot about it but when it came time to say goodbye, I don't believe either of us truly knew what we were getting into. He lives in Iowa and I live in Pennsylvania so there was over a thousand miles between us.
Being in a long distance relationship is not fun all of the time. It sucks getting used to having to send a text or call your significant other to tell them something rather than turn your head and speak. This was probably the hardest part for me as I really like to tell stories.
Every relationship is different and ours is no exception! We do things that wouldn't work for other couples and vice versa. However, it did ease our minds a bit hearing about other's long distance relationship success stories. Long distance relationship sites were comforting as well as advice from our parents. You never feel completely prepared however.
If you are in a long distance relationship or are leading up to one, I hope these tips will help to ease your mind! A LDR can be done.
1. Trust trust trust! Being so far from each other is difficult because you almost never know what the other is doing right when they do it. Trust is key in order to keep from worrying yourself sick all of the time over what your significant other is doing or not doing.
2. Don't betray that trust! Trust is fragile and is easily lost. Don't take advantage of the trust that is bestowed upon you.
3. Understand that your SO's schedule might not match up to yours! There could be hour differences, summer jobs, family and friend events, and more that might keep both of you busy. Learn to work around them and be lenient when your SO has something.
4. Keep yourself busy! Not to the point where you're never relaxing, but if you're noticing that you are constantly waiting around for your SO to call- you might need to find other things to keep your mind occupied.
5. Letters! Luke and I did a pretty poor job of sending letters as frequently as we had previously hoped, but it was still fun! Nothing is the same as getting a handwritten letter in the mail.
6. Don't text all day if you're going to call at night! In the beginning of the summer we would text continuously throughout the day and all of our stories were taken up before we talked at night. Leave stuff to talk about!
7. Don't feel obligated to talk every night. We definitely didn't! We both understood that the time difference sucked and one of us may have had a rough day. As long as you're not leaving long lengths of time where you're not talking you will be fine.
8. Never let yourself get to the point where your SO is just a voice. Towards the end Luke and I forgot this often. We would get into an argument and rather than remember that we were talking to the person we loved, we were awfully harsh with each other. Your SO is still human and deserves to be treated like it. Skype is a great tool so use it!
9. Spend your time wisely! Yes, being apart sucks but take advantage of it! Use the time to pick up a new hobby or sleep. I made a bucket list and attempted to get them all crossed off. Sometimes it's hard to find time to spend on yourself when you're always around your SO. Don't just sit around grumpy- get up and use the time to your advantage.
10. Love. Never forget that this is the person you fell in love with. A long distance relationship is tough but obviously you chose it for a reason. Yes, some days are going to be awful. However when you finally get to be reunited everything will be forgotten. Make the time apart worth it.
11. Keep the bickering to a minimum; especially over text! Tone changes over texting and it's hard to make out how the other person truly said it. If it's a huge deal, talk over the phone or Skype. Every couple bickers but it increases when your apart. If you can, nip an argument early and keep it from getting out of control. We had to learn how to forgive with a hug, kiss, or touch at all. Just words alone. Definitely a learning experience!
12. Schedule dates! Just because you can't physically go out together does not mean dates are out of the question. Find a time that works for both and watch a movie together over Skype. You could also eat a meal together!
Overall, just love on each other. An LDR is difficult from both sides and it takes a lot of compromise and an understanding heart to get through it. Luckily we only had to make it through the summer, but to go from seeing each other every day to only Skype contact was rough! Figure out a method that helps keep both of your sanity and keep the negativity out. An LDR is stressful but if you can make it through, everything else is worth it.
