How to Lose Friends With Grace

Surrounding myself with good friends is something that I have always worked towards. I'm not the kind of person to be comfortable in the midst of negative and fake people. For me it's exhausting and draining. I never know what's being said behind my back and I dislike that. I'm a pretty confident person, and while I don't care what people think of me, I do care if something I do or say is awesome to their faces but behind my back is the worst thing they've ever heard of. Who needs that negativity in their lives?

With that being said, I have had my share of best friends over the years. Some I have lost because of distance, but most because we don't see eye to eye on things and so one of us pulls away from the other. Even at college this has happened! It doesn't necessarily have to be a bad thing. Growth is good. You start to figure out what and who you need in your life and what you would rather do without. 

I had friends who knew nothing about my relationship with my boyfriend but would go to him and tell him that I treated him wrong and he needed to break up with me. To my face, nothing was said. They never tried to get my side of the story and just assumed what they wanted. It's frustrating because these are the people I trust. A lot of them if I tried to come to them with a problem they would brush me off. And then when a mutual friend would sit with me and just listen to me, they would turn on both of us and rush to my boyfriend to say that I was being influenced wrongly. But they weren't willing to listen! I'm not the person to be easily influenced. I'm pretty stubborn and not swayed at all by other's. If I don't believe it's right, it won't be done by me. So for someone to say that I'm easily influenced is insulting. These people who I trusted with everything were spreading rumors saying that I was cheating but when gently called out on it, denied it profusely. 

Here are some signs that you might want to rethink your relationship with somebody. 

• Everything they say is negative. Everybody likes to complain, even me. I'm the worst at it. There's a difference though in complaining occasionally about class and talking crap about everybody. If they can't be there to defend themselves, don't say it. 
• They put you down. Whether to your face or behind your back, this is not okay. Especially since they are supposed to have your back not talk behind it! 
• They constantly bail on you to hangout with other friends. I had a friend who did this a lot towards the end of our friendship. We would have plans and then suddenly she couldn't hang out because she would rather hang out with other girls. Occasionally skipping out on plans is okay, but not every time. If you have plans, try to be the person that almost always sticks to them. 
• When confronted, rather than talk and listen they will immediately get defensive and make it out to be your fault.
• They always expect you to drop everything for them but don't return the favor. 

Nobody's perfect and some of the time your friend might not even be sure they are doing anything wrong. Before immediately jumping the gun, try talking to them. However if they don't want to hear what you have to say, consider walking away from the relationship. You deserve to be happy and you deserve to be surrounded by people that make you feel that way. Do yourself a favor. 

This quote basically sums everything up. 

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